The Tall Poppy Syndrome of Chronic Illness: Why People Try to Cut You Down When You Stand Up for Yourself
Note: This blog is based on lived experience and general information. It is not intended as medical advice. Always consult a healthcare professional.
You fight like hell just to be heard.
You push through appointments, second opinions, endless tests, and finally, finally, you get answers.
You get your diagnosis.
You find your voice.
You start advocating for yourself, setting boundaries, demanding better.
And what happens next?
People, sometimes even the ones you thought were in your corner, start cutting you down.
"You’re so negative."
"You’re just attention-seeking."
"Maybe if you didn’t talk about it so much, you’d feel better."
Sound familiar?
Welcome to the Tall Poppy Syndrome of Chronic Illness.
Where standing up for your survival makes people so uncomfortable, they'd rather tear you down than admit the system failed you.
Why People Try to Cut Down Chronic Illness Advocates
It’s not always because they’re cruel.
It’s often because your truth, your real, messy, painful, inconvenient truth, challenges the comfortable stories they tell themselves about health, fairness, and control.
Your voice forces them to confront uncomfortable realities:
- That illness can happen to anyone.
- That hard work, good vibes, and green smoothies don’t guarantee safety.
- That medicine isn’t perfect.
- That sometimes the system does fail good people.
Rather than face that discomfort, they attack the messenger.
You.
Because it’s easier to call you negative than to accept that the world is sometimes unfair.
It’s easier to silence you than to sit with their own helplessness.
What Tall Poppy Syndrome Looks Like When You’re Chronically Ill
It’s the friend who stops inviting you to things because you're “always sick anyway.”
It’s the family member who says you’re "making it worse" by "dwelling on it."
It’s the coworker who rolls their eyes when you ask for accommodations.
It’s the stranger online who accuses you of "playing the victim" when you share your story.
And the sick part is, you start to internalise it.
You start to wonder:
"Am I too much?"
"Am I making this worse?"
"Should I just shut up and deal with it quietly?"
But here’s the truth they don’t want you to know:
Your survival deserves noise.
Your pain deserves a microphone.
Your story deserves space, exactly as it is.
Why Speaking Up Still Matters (Even When It’s Hard)
Every time you refuse to be silent about your illness, you crack the armor of stigma.
Every time you tell the raw, ugly, complicated truth about what it’s like to live inside a broken healthcare system, you make it easier for the next person to be believed.
Your voice does what medicine alone can’t.
It makes invisible battles visible.
It makes silent suffering seen.
It makes the system just a little less comfortable staying broken.
And yes — it’s tiring.
And yes — it’s lonely sometimes.
And yes — people will call you dramatic, negative, a tall poppy who "needs to be brought down a peg."
Let them.
Their discomfort isn’t your responsibility.
Your survival is.
How to Protect Your Energy While Still Standing Tall
💬 Choose your audiences.
Not everyone deserves access to your story. Share where you feel safe. Save your energy where you don't.
💬 Expect backlash and don't personalise it.
Other people’s discomfort is about them, not you.
💬 Build your crew.
Find the fellow tall poppies. The ones who know what it’s like. The ones who will hold the line with you when the world gets loud.
💬 Remember your WHY.
You’re not speaking up for clout.
You’re speaking up because silence almost cost you your life once — and you refuse to pay that price again.
The Bottom Line
You weren’t born to shrink yourself so other people could stay comfortable.
You weren’t put on this earth to suffer in silence so strangers wouldn’t have to think too hard about their own privilege.
You were built for more.
Built to survive.
Built to stand tall, even when they start sharpening their knives.
So stand tall, even if they call you difficult.
Stand tall, even if they call you negative.
Stand tall, even if they whisper that you’re "too much."
Tall poppies are only targets because they are seen.
And being seen is exactly how change starts.
Note
This blog is based on personal experience and publicly available information. It is not intended to replace medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for decisions about your health.
