“But you don’t look sick!”
Said with a smile, like it’s a good thing.
Like you should feel flattered.
Meanwhile, inside, your body feels like it’s been hit by a freight train, your gut is in open revolt, and you’re calculating how far the nearest bathroom is at all times.
Let’s be real: "You don’t look sick" is not a compliment.
It’s a reminder of just how invisible and exhausting living with IBD can be.
The Problem With “You Don’t Look Sick”
On the surface, it sounds positive.
"You look healthy!"
"You look normal!"
"You must be feeling better!"
But here’s the thing: looking fine isn’t the same as being fine.
IBD is often an invisible illness.
You can be smiling on the outside and fighting a silent battle inside with bleeding, exhaustion, nausea, anxiety, and pain as your unwanted sidekicks.
What People Don’t See
💬 The nights spent curled up in pain, too scared to sleep.
💬 The mornings you didn’t eat because you were terrified of triggering a flare.
💬 The ER visits, the infusions, the endless blood tests and scans.
💬 The fear of accidents that dictates your social life, work schedule, and travel plans.
Just because someone doesn’t see it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening.
Why It Hurts (Even If They Mean Well)
👉🏼 It minimises your struggle.
👉🏼 It invalidates the massive effort it takes to "look normal" in the first place.
👉🏼 It pressures you to keep pretending you’re okay even when you’re not.
Sometimes the strongest people are the ones smiling the hardest.
How to Handle It Without Losing Your Mind
💬 Decide if you want to educate — or just move on.
Not every comment deserves a TED talk. You get to choose your energy battles.
💬 Have a simple, honest reply ready.
- “Thanks, but there’s a lot you don’t see.”
- “I might look okay, but it’s a daily battle.”
- “It’s invisible, not imaginary.”
💬 Protect your boundaries.
If someone keeps pushing or making insensitive comments, you’re allowed to shut that down. Full stop.
💬 Find your people.
Surround yourself with humans who get it even if they’re online strangers at first.
Community changes everything.
You Are Not Defined by How Sick You "Look"
You don’t have to perform your illness for it to be real.
You don’t have to prove your pain to be worthy of care.
Whether you’re in sweatpants, hospital gowns, or full glam, your experience is valid.
You’re fighting battles most people couldn’t even imagine, and doing it without applause.
That’s not weakness. That’s absolute power.
Note
This blog is based on personal experience and publicly available information. It is not intended to replace medical advice. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for decisions about your health.
